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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can get us: an opening. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I get that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She must to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?